Self-Made Or Selfish

Full transcript

Welcome back, guys, to the Anthony Amon Show. Today we're gonna talk about being self-made. Self-made. Is it self-fish? I think that's more of the framing.

I like that. Yeah, I like that.

We're looking for is self-made self-ish. And I'll start with the frame and then we'll build off the frame. Because I think we've talked about this in a bunch of episodes, but it's just the most important takeaway I can think of when it comes to this. Everyone has the same possibility to be successful compared to everybody else. That's the stance I have. There is no difference between who you are, where you come from, what you look like. Everyone has the same possibility to be successful. Some people might have it easier, but everyone has the same exact probable pathway being in America.

Saying that you have no disabilities and things of that nature. Yes. If you just average and no disability is correct.

Yeah.

We're all given the same advantage. Maybe easier financially, yeah. Yes, I agree. The difference is the social circle you hang out with. Yes. Why? Because you're a reflection of who you're around. It's point of like period. You're reflection your own. If you're around losers, you're gonna be the losers.

If you hang around with a bunch of people who think that because I am purple, and oh, we're purple and we're segregated, 100%. That means that you're gonna feel that way and you're gonna look for that situation. Yes, and you use that as an excuse. Correct. But if you switch the frame, I'm purple, and because I'm purple, I could be successful. Correct. You're gonna become successful. Correct. It's all frame.

It's all frame, it's all mindset. And some may have it easier than others. People are born rich. There's some people that are born rich. So it may start further than you. People have connections, whatever, maybe in school. If you got into Yale, or you know, you know there's stuff that goes on, stuff like that. But it doesn't take away from your ability to become successful. Yes. So the whole term self-made, it sounds selfish. It does. Like, oh, I'm I'm the one that did it, no one helped me. So I don't know. Maybe we gotta look for a different uh terminology. But essentially, I agree with it. Because at the end of the day, regardless of who motivates you, influences you, has inspired you, you have to make the decision to want to be successful. Regardless, you had some incidences in your life where hard times hit like everyone else. You had an option, regardless of who said you can do it, I motivate you. You can accredit them for a certain amount of your success. Yes, you can. I don't think anyone is solely responsible for all their success. That I think is more of the stance. But you can accredit them for motivating you and getting you over that hump. But you gotta get over the hump though. It's you that has to walk.

But it you start to know who to lean on and leverage. That's that's the difference of why it's self-made. You're you can still be self-made, but you know where to leverage and get a positive outcome from that leverage. But then are you self-made? Yes. How if you made that decision, yeah. Yes, I agree with you. So let's start start back, right? Start from like square one, because I think people just get stuck on this in the very beginning. You have a social circle, yeah, right? Yeah, everyone this is me. Everyone in that social circle as a teenager blamed the government, blamed the economy, blamed whatever the hell you want to blame. That is why it will never be successful. Correct, because you're always blaming other people, you don't take accountability. So now I'm checking podcasts, I'm checking uh the news, I'm reading papers, um, Instagram now will only show you things that you believe in, right? It's gonna build into that. The algorithm's gonna show things you want to see that creates fear. So they're always gonna see people that can never made it and always blamed and pointed. Because you're always looking for excuses. Because now you're gonna keep looking for the that's all you do. You look for you. The self-made part is that instinct decision to turn over.

Correct. Correct. I don't know, I just don't like the terminology though. It does sound selfish. You gotta be it sounds self. I'm self-made, but your wife motivated you to when you were down crying. Who's the person that lifted you up and said you could do it? So you know I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna be a devastad here. Okay, it's not selfish. Nah, dude. It is that that that that let me let me explain something. Who chose my wife? No, now you're this guy.

You chose your wife. So I put myself in a position in a position that I knew would support me. I chose her. Do you give credit to her? 100%. I give credit to her, but I also just decided to marry her because she always supported me, and I said, okay, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life because she's someone to support me. I could have married someone that didn't support me. Correct. And then that would have been my fault for never making it because I chose to marry her, I could have walked away. My decision. Your decisions have consequences. Okay, so I have to make those decisions.

So you accredit your wife for getting you through certain hard times, right? Correct. So then you should be. Correct. The devil's advocate can't then shouldn't you accredit a certain amount of your success for to her? Because without her, would you have gotten over it? You said yourself, there's certain times I wanted to quit. But she said no. She didn't. So therefore, you can accredit a certain amount of success to her. Yes or no? Think about it real quick.

On a surface level, yes, I credit to her on a deeper level, no.

So therefore, are you truly self-made if you accredit any type of six, if you accredit any type of success to the person, you're not truly self-made.

You needed help. Because I chose her. So I still have to go back to the fundamental reason of why I'm with her. I chose to be with her. Just as much as she tried to be with me. Bro, that sounds selfish, man. But it is selfish. You're supposed to be selfish. Selfish isn't a bad thing. This is a let's have let's have a story that actually happened last week.

Okay.

I was, I've been learning a lot about uh different things and different personality traits and different sorts of like psychology, right? I've been going a really big rabbit hole for a few months now. I went home and I asked my wife this exact question. Are you independently happy without me? Yes. What'd you say? And she looked at me and I was like, I just want to know. Don't I don't want to give you my answer. Are you happy without me? Give me your writing answer. Wait, hold on.

You without you mean like if we would have break off. That was a walkout of your life. Okay, okay.

Could you be independently happy without me? And she said, yes. I said, good. Me too. Are you really? I would eventually be independently happy without her. Yes. That's that's selfish, right? But, but, there's a but to this. Okay. The person you marry and the people you spend their time with are should be your source to amplify those traits. So therefore, without them, I will never be at that specific level. I will be happy, but it will never be amplified well above that. Because we push each other to be happier together.

So therefore, right now, whoever's watching, and so therefore, if you feel you're not happy without a certain friend or spouse or partner, without them, you feel unhappy. There's an internal problem within you. Yes. Plain and simple. You have a problem you gotta solve if you're not happy without that person in your life.

The best way to look at this, and it's it's been very hard for me personally, but it's like I'm really understanding the fundamentals behind it. If you can't be happy with that stuff, it doesn't mean that, and I don't want people to construe and say, like, oh, I'm just screw everyone. That's wrong, because we need community. That's what I'm trying to be careful. Yeah, not that's we need community, we need people in a personal life, yes, but there needs to be a fundamental reason your happiness should never rely on somebody, anybody but yourself. It goes back to like the simple like theory of the oxygen S theory, right? Okay, oxygen s come down and do years before you do someone else's. You cannot take care of somebody else if you're not taking care of yourself, take your health into consideration. You should not be taking care of someone else's health if you can't take care of your own. You're just gonna amplify what's wrong. You're gonna make it worse.

That's where it comes from.

You're depressed, you start hanging out with depressed people, you know what's gonna happen now? You're gonna be depressed.

There's a hundred This is a good one now. Let's say you don't have anyone in your circle and you're depressed. Would you say the that the reason for that is because you don't have people motivating you? If you don't feel love, this is good. I know!

This is good, I got an answer for it. Let's go! Okay, you could choose whoever you want to have in your social circle because they don't have to physically be there. Aha. Our brains don't know the difference. So I love so Harmozy could be your friend. I, if Alex Harmozy was sitting next to me, I could physically relate to him and I feel like we know each other, even though he doesn't know me from a hole in a wall. But I've listened and consumed so many hours of his stuff, I feel like I am trying to level up to him and taking traits off of him because I spend so much time listening to him. He's basically in my social circle that I'm knowing. Wow. So if you want me and you're in your social circle, just listen to us. And then you'll you'll build that in. You can also read books.

100%.

You can start becoming.

So your mind is just the mind. You can escape to anywhere. Anyone can be your friend. It's what you consume. That's it. The whole reason of you being the fifth loser in a group, hanging out with four losers, is because that's what you're that's what you're in, you're intaking. You're consuming nonsense. So that's why you become the fifth one in a group that's a loser. Everything's what you consume. So if you're not consuming consuming things that motivate you and inspire you to grow and that that do the complete opposite, that is why you are where you are. Point blank, period. Now going back to the topic, yes. I people, I mean, hey, listen, society's against it, they don't like the term being self-made. I think it's very selfish. But if you really stop and think about it, you essentially are. Because you're the one essentially that has to make that somebody's trying to tell you, hey Anthony, stop smoking cigarettes, stop smoking cigarettes, and you stop. You're gonna accredit them for motivating you to stop, but you have to make that decision to stop eventually. You have to stop. So being self-made is I just I gotta figure out a different term. I don't know. I don't like what it sounds so disgusting. What is being selfish bad or disgusting? Because essentially it's just caring about yourself and no one else. And no one else. That's what it is. I was about to say that's how they interpret it.

Because, but that's their interpretation. Correct. Correct. So in as a str as a human being, right? Care about yourself first. You should always care about yourself first. That's self-fancy to everyone else, you're gonna starve to death and die. Yes, and then what can you see? This is the difference, and this is why I love Ebly and Psychology, because it explains this so well, better than I could ever. So go read Courage to be disliked. Great book. But you have to learn yourself, and you have to have a baseline self, take care of yourself, your health-wise, take care of your brain, how you're the people you put it around with. But the giving part of what makes us human is we build what they call community and we contribute to the community. Now we can only contribute if our ourselves are good. Very true. Now, if we're just good and we're good, but we're not contributing to community, that's when we start feeling the self-loathing and we start feeling like gross and disgusting. So we're not giving back to community. You need to give, you need to build the community up as a whole together to help other people, but you can only do that if you once you were good.

I'm gonna drop something on you, a little personnel. My brother called me recently, two days ago. I think two days ago, yeah, whatever, something like that. And he said, him and my dad are going somewhere, like to this spa thing, relax, like a vacation thing. Do you want to come? I had a decision to make. I said, the finances that I have to use for this vacation, I already allotted and assigned it to invest in my company, like equipment and stuff like that. But we're in the stages of reconciling our reconciling our relationship with our dad at this moment. So I'm like, do I join them and reconcile this relationship? Me, my brother, and my dad. Haven't spoken about four years, about four years, maybe five years. Five years, five years. It's a great opportunity. And my dad's older, late mid late mid to late 70s. I don't know what's gonna happen. Do you invest in your business and take care of yourself, which in turn will take care of your kids? And just be honest, say I don't got it right now to do that. What do you do? It's home.

And I have to this is the frame I learned.

Yeah.

Why do you feel the need to go? What's the underlying hole? Well, it's my dad. Okay. Take that, take that out of me. No, no. What's is it guilt? Or is it that I you actually want to go and spend time with you? Because there's two different, it depends on that frame. Why do you think that's yo, why is that? Well, if you say no, are you afraid of feeling guilty? What are you afraid of coming back?

So when I thought about it, initially it was a not as just a little bit of guilt, like, damn, I'm gonna be looked at as like the bad son, like this guy's bad. Like, you didn't see your dad in four years, you don't want to spend that initially hit me, then that went out the window within 10 times. I'm like, I don't care, I gotta focus on myself and my kids. Um, but I generally wanted to spend time. It's just I don't I don't know. It's hard to choose between the two. I just I don't have it right now to do it. And my priorities is me and my kids first. That's what it is now. My dad'll be there, but I gotta put that first, and that's what I told myself. So I don't I wouldn't call it not guilt, you know. I don't know if he's gonna feel a certain way.

Okay, so change the frame, right? Uh first talk about the guilt thing because it's so important. You shouldn't do things because you feel guilty. 100%. You should do things because they benefit you or the other person. Yeah, yeah. Like, right? It should be mutual beneficial. Feeling guilty automatically makes it non-mutual beneficial. Correct. You're doing it out of other reasons. Feel like priority, but it's like how we were taught as kids. Our parents would make us feel guilty to an extent, right? Correct. I feel like I have to, whether it's direct or indirect. Oh, he's gonna try to make you feel guilty.

I know that for facts.

You should never do that for a try and make you feel guilty. But you can offer a solution. Hey, dad, I can't attend X, but can we do Y? Oh, that's what I was gonna do. So, what's wrong with that?

I you know what it is, it's because it's I guess it's the first initial meeting. You didn't see the person in a long time.

So, why not just make a first initial meeting beforehand and shorten the time?

It's coming out. I mean, I said coming out. It what is it? Uh when is July 4th? I don't know. Next this weekend? Yeah. I just can't regard us of the fact, I I can't do it. I had to make a decision. I was driving, I was thinking about it. I said, I gotta put myself first because that was the old yeah. I used to put other people first. This goes back to being selfish. I always used to do that. You know, I don't got money, oh, we're going here, let's do this, do this for this, first, do this, and I would struggle inside. And then in the dark, when everyone left and the event was finished, I would struggle because of the decision I made. You're a dad. Yeah, yeah.

If your kid reached out to you and said, Dad, you know, I want to spend time with you, but I have to put my family first and do XYZ. Can we book a time after you and you get back? How would you feel?

Oh, like yeah. I would even yeah, no problem. Yeah. But not everyone's like that. Doesn't matter. Not everyone's like that. Not everyone is receptive like that. It's gonna, oh yeah, I get it. They're gonna bash you, they're gonna, oh, you're bad. You do, you're not a good son. I can't believe it. Wow, your brother did you you know what I'm talking about. Very well. That's what's gonna happen. And um I know it very well.

And I would specifically tell you that you need to put yourself and your family first, and yourself includes your spouse, your spouse, and you are one when you're married, right? And then your kids are just below that, that comes first at the end of the day.

That's another thing you and I disagree with. We always have, I always put the kids first. But yes, you're right. We're also not married. No, I know that. Well, yes, you get it. It's crazy. Yes, you're right. And I made that decision within 10 seconds. I I hit an age where yo, bro, last time when you and I were talking.

Yeah, let's let's take our relationship, for example, right? Yeah, yeah. Do we talk to each other every day?

No.

And does it does it bother either of us that we don't talk every day? Right? Yeah, no. Because we know we're busy trying to be successful, yeah, focus on things, but doesn't it excite you when I do something really big? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. You know, it excites me when you do something really big. Yeah, but I don't, there's no time requirement on it. What do you mean, time requirement? Like, I don't just if I don't see you for a week or two weeks, three weeks. Oh, yeah, no, it still excites me just as much. Like, I love this, and I was really thinking about this. Why do people feel just because you live within a circle made up radius, that they're entitled to see you more? Nah, bro.

Yo, I don't, I don't, you know. Oh, well, it comes from control, man. It comes from people wanting that's a it comes from people wanting to control you. And when they realize they can't control you anymore, got you. Wait, wait, five more minutes or what? No, you can talk because I've we have two angles. Five more minutes or what? But all right. Uh fuck I lost my part. What was I saying?

17 minutes in, you're good.

Okay. No, no, no, but it's 129.

Oh.

But let's go to 40. Damn, what was I fucking saying, man? What was I saying, Ant? About control, right? Control. Oh, yeah. God damn it. We're talking about friends. Uh, no, something to like. Oh, the entitlement. What was it what do you what oh yeah. So, Anthony, the reason for that is because people want to control you. Once they realize they lose control over you, this is when they get upset, the bashing game. That's all that entitlement is from. It them seeing you as a certain person and a certain level. Once you outgrow that, they get upset.

I don't hold people like I have a cousin that lives in Colorado, right? It's far from being here in New York. I see him once every other year. I'm gonna hold it over relationship heads just because we don't see each other more often. You don't even if you lived in within 10 minutes of me, I'm not gonna hold it over his head if we see each other the same distance. Because the connection you have with that person.

Also, he's a powerful, powerful angle and perspective. Did you ever think that it's because there's something you do to them that fills a void?

Without you, that void exists. That comes back to the very beginning of this episode. Exactly. Exactly. They never prioritize themselves. Meaning they never made themselves made themselves happy and they're now pushing that on you. That's your responsibility to do it.

That's it. That's a lot of the time, that's what it's from. You don't call me, you don't do this, you don't do this. Because something internally is wrong with that person, but they shift the responsibility to you to continue. I gotta see you, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, you do that. And if you don't do it, you're a bad guy. No, something's wrong with you. I got so what am I just a slave to you? What what what c what what why am I responsible for your happiness?

It doesn't make sense. I know what's the happiness I'm responsible for? Mine. Mine. Mine. And then me, my relationship with you should amplify both our happinesses. Correct.

Yo, bro, it's crazy. I'm gonna be real, man. I don't, this is Anthony Amos show, but I gotta keep it real. Uh I'm trying to see how to say this. Uh my dad used to do that. I hated that. A lot of parents do. I man, I can't believe I'm saying this on camera, guys. You getting this first. He, he, I didn't like that, man. And um, when I talked to him, he'd probably say, I'm gonna tell him about that. He years ago, he used to do that. Like, if I was busy, you know, I'm never just shaking and baking, trying to get stuff going. Oh, what are you up to? You can't call. Almost like I'm just sitting at home holding my phone, doing anything, and it's this entitlement, and it's not just parents, but the friends do it. And I'm gonna be honest, people like that, you gotta cut off. You know what John and I do on the phone? What? I'm busy, I'll call later. Yeah, but that's bro. It's a sick. I like that he's busy. Yeah, it's I'm like, yeah, because you want you want better for the person. You go focused on you, man. You're busy, go.

Yeah, I'll call you when we're both free. It's hard to get people like that, though. That actually care. Right? I love like I I I get comments all the time. What are you too busy for me? But that's the stuff I'm doing.

That kind of stuff. You gotta cut people like that off. Hey, I just said this today. Um, people don't, not all, but most people don't change. Most people don't change. So you gotta do two things, one of two things. Either learn to accept them or cut them off. Unfortunately, most of us accept them out of fear of getting them upset. I don't want to upset them, I want to set these people. Ruin their own lives to make someone else happy. Yes.

So I'll keep you in my life even though you're tarnished. Or you get faced with a trade-off, I'm gonna ruin my relationship with you, my relationship with you, and you're not stuck in the middle, and now you're having a triangle relationship.

Yeah, that that Which makes it even worse. Yeah, yeah, it's a hundred percent worse, you know, and and and and and the whole the whole purpose is you gotta choose yourself first. So going back to it. Can I can I add to this?

And I just wanna. I'm really glad we weren't down this rabbit hole because this has been a lot of stuff I'm working on, my personal life too. You have to first understand your values. There's a hundred values. And your value. But no, no, it was just your values. Like what do you what do you value? What kind of traits and characteristics do you value? And I never was asked that question. I was asked that question a couple weeks ago, and I was like, I don't know. And I was going through a list of all these values, and some of them just stuck out. And I was like, Yeah, that. Well, give us one, give us one. The one that stood out the most, which I knew from doing this podcast, authenticity. I want to be myself. Whether me on the camera, me on the floor, me at home. It's the same person. Same guy. But what I realized is that there were Scenarios that I would change myself and be somebody else according to please that person. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I always felt gross. Felt dirty because you know it's not you. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I know exactly how you're talking about it. You're afraid of hurting feelings. Come on now, talk. And then I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no. I had to prioritize my self. And that is how you realize who's for you, who's not. If you stay your authentic self, the people that's supposed to be for you, the people that like you always stay or gravitate to you. But if you keep changing around who you are, you never know who genuinely likes you because you always present a different uh image to them. Yes. Hundred, hundred and ten percent true. But Andy, everything, you know what's funny? Everything you're saying, this usually starts the adolescence, whatever. People still have these problems that they can't do it. Do you understand the beauty in being triumphant over your problems? These issues that were so do you understand how difficult?

I'm gonna throw one on you real quick. I've been uh seeing a therapist recently. First time ever. We got through some stuff, and I love learning, right? This is my problem. Sick learner, I want to learn from everyone. But they all said that like I was trying one out and they all said something, have you done therapy before? I was like, no, never. And you're like, impossible. The therapist is saying this to you. All of them. I saw four of them. All four of them said, the way you talk and the way you act, it's impossible you're not done in therapy. And I would look at them and I'd be like, why? No one thinks like you. You just I don't understand how you come to conclusions so quickly and you act like you've had 13 years of therapy. Do you know why? I know I know exactly what you're talking about. I know exactly why. It's one one thing.

Like on this side, they all brought it back to. Yeah, but what came from the suicide? Just one word that we just take accountability to the thing. That's it, that's that's just nailed it. Most don't. Most don't. You know what you do why most go to therapy? Because they're trying to put the accountability to someone else. Oh, he just nailed it. Yes. Yes. No, seriously, that is why most people go to therapy. They want validation and confirmation that who I blame is true, is is true, right? My mom didn't do it. Whose fault is it? It's my mom's, right? That's why people go, but you came in there, most likely, I was there, obviously, but most likely you came in there saying, Yo, it's my fault for this. I realized this happened because of this. You took accountability for everything. So they look at you like, oh, huh.

Most people don't do that. They always asked, how did the 13-year-old like think like that? And I was like, I don't give myself no choice. Like, I was gonna die physically and mentally. There was no plan B. I'm not gonna sit in here and whine about it, I'm just gonna make a solution and fix it. Wow. And I I don't know why. I looking back and talking to people, like I didn't know any better. I didn't, I thought everyone did that. I'm 13 years old, I don't know. That's why, yeah, took it. And they're like, no, no one does that.

Yeah, it took me for a surprise too when you told me that, like at age 13, all this happened. And and I don't know your beliefs, but this is why this is my beliefs. All that is God. Like this show changing people slowly. Everything's time though. And God's time it could be a day, our time it could take two, three years. We don't know how long it takes, but this is the purpose. You had to go through that. You had to slip on the ice. This is God. That means you had a greater calling, but it's up to us as people to step into that calling. Do you this is the accountability? You have to make the decision. Do I want to take that kind of responsibility and change people's lives through my story? You said yes. This is the redefines, the rebuild scholarship. This is helping people, this is the podcast, this is all to help people through the life experiences that you've gone through, which we're all going through. But it comes back to accountability. And I, dude, would you Anthony? I don't know how many employees you've ran across that take accountability, or just people in general in life. I have a specific problem with somebody right now. I just told them yesterday. I tell them all the time, you don't take accountability. You will always find a way to. Yo, bro, someone let me let me just tell you, this is crazy. I told someone to lift um some of the equipment from the trunk. I gotta run inside real quick, just get it from the trunk. The person hurt their back, real light, nothing crazy, right? Came back downstairs. They said, I hurt my back because you told me to lift from the trunk. Yo, I said, Let me get this shit. You got hurt because you lifted it incorrectly. You lifted something that was too heavy, right? And I told you to lift the light stuff. You decided to lift the big bag. I told you only lift the um apple boxes. You guys know apples little tiny boxes. You decide to go for the big bag. Then I come outside, you say, Yeah, it was your fault because you I because what? Are you kidding me? I was yo, Antie, when I say I was blown away, I'm like, who? But I realized that's normal. People do that. They will always find a blame, they always find a way to blame other people because it's too heavy, it's too much of a load to take the responsibility and say, that is my fault, because they gotta look themselves in the mirror. To know I got fired because it was me. I lost my wife because it was my fault. That's too difficult to go to sleep on. Which is mind-blowing to you because you already achieved that. You passed that love in life. Some people never get there. It is easier to blame someone than to take responsibility. It's easier. That's Anthony's fault. Anthony fired you. Yeah, it's his fault. The guy's a jerk.

Really?

Yeah.

Look at where people hire like business coaches. It's the same thing as to hire a therapist.

Yeah, essentially.

They want to draw the accountability on the business coach and not take responsibility for everything. That's what most cultural companies don't work because you keep throwing it on other people.

And if you notice something, common trade. The people that are wildly successful, it doesn't have to be a billion dollars, but the people who are just successful, nine out of ten times, always take accountability. They always search for how I could have done things differently. And those are usually leaders. The ones that blame people always stay workers and bad workers at that. Nothing's wrong with being a worker, but people that follow the crowd. Let me say that. They always stay followers because they look for someone to lead that has the guts to take accountability.

Full circle it. So you have to take responsibility for the things, you have to have accountability in your foldings, right? This is things that you have to do. Therefore, in order to do these things, you have to be what? Selfish. Yeah, okay. And everything you do in your life is self-made because you have to make that decision to think this way, to act this way, to follow up this way, to build that discipline, to move those things forward. You have to make those decisions of what social cycles you walk into, which ones you walk away from, the people you talk to, the opportunities you find. Everything you do is a decision you have to make.

I agree with that 100 tempest.

So the only person that made you successful is you, because you found those people and you said instead of the selfish part is it's all me, me, me, me, me, me, I'm not gonna give. The people that really are self-made, the ones that truly make it, they always look for situations. How can I benefit you? How can I benefit me so we're both happier? And those are the ones that are self-made, but they had to find those Christians. All business relationships, all personal relationships need to be mutually beneficial. It cannot be a one party. The second you feel like you got one over someone, it's a bad relationship, irregardless if it just benefited you. Look at game theory if you really want to get specific, and I'd recommend you go look it up. But game theory shows you want to be the best way to succeed is to be mutual beneficiary to somebody. That's true. And that's when you make the most points as they went through. But the second someone defects and burns you, you burn them back. You hit harder. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna respect each other. You build the respect back, and then you continue the relationship mutual beneficiary. That's game three, game theory 101. Hello, you're gonna go check it out. But it comes down to you have to be help be selfish to the extent it's gonna be benefit for me, it's gonna be for you, and we're gonna be selfish together.

And before we close out, being selfish to the extent where you're going to have to leave some people behind. You have to selfish that it means loving and putting yourself first and not catering to everyone else and putting your feelings second, but not selfish to the extent where you don't care about anyone, like we said before. Great episode.

Mutual beneficial beneficiary relationships, correct all aspects of life.

Correct.

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